Boundaries

I don't know about you, but there are times in our industry - an industry I love so much - that I feel so pushed around, bullied, and devalued. Sometimes it's just one person, and sometimes it's the whole project. While I'm no expert, I've been in the industry for sixteen years and have shared these three things several times this summer.

Step One: Figure yours out

My boundaries shift depending on my department: When I'm casting, I'm less demanding about how much I like the dialogue, characters, and story compared to when I'm producing and directing. When I'm directing, I stand up to producers a lot more and feel more comfortable having strong opinions. Your boundaries are bound to shift, so knowing them is paramount every single time you interview for a job. Knowing yourself, your boundaries, and what you WANT to be doing means introspection and analyzing your resources, your limitations, and how to talk about all of them.

Boundary Examples

• Actors: Are you comfortable with intimate scenes? Comfortable being chained/confined on camera? If a script has violence agains (fill in your worst nightmare) are you comfortable being a part of the film, even if you're not the offender?

• Producers: What's your bottom line? If you make this decision, will you still be able to sleep at night? etc.

• Crew Folks: How many days of prep do you need vs want to do the job? How much gear do you need, for how long, and for what rate to do the job you were asked to do? Are there any items you need to complete your job (e.g., a nut-free set, cooling/warming tents)?

Without knowing your boundaries, you'll be put into positions that leave you feeling taken advantage of. Make sure you can communicate your boundaries clearly after you've spent time thinking about them.

Self-Advocacy is Scary, and Necessary

If we assume everyone has good intentions and that our producers will have our backs no matter what, there will still be a time when film is moving too quickly for things to go well. Instead of being taken advantage of - or feeling like you are - you will HAVE to speak up for yourself. A producer's job is to get the job done, which often means asking for things they can't have. If you say YES, make sure you mean it, to whatever they're asking.

Now that you've done step one, and you've figured out your boundaries, you have to communicate them. Every time a movie meets my boundaries, and I have to throw down for whatever reason, I end up crying. Yep. Not in front of anyone, but you better believe my knees have been shaking while my voice is calm during hard conversations. It's not easy to stand up for yourself, and I won't pretend it is. Standing up for yourself IS necessary. You can do it kindly, you can do it clearly, and you can do it in a way that feels good to you - I know you can.

It's not an if, but a when, that someone will ask for something that's a step beyond your boundary. Practice those conversations once you know your boundaries, so the first time you hear the words out of your mouth, it's not while you're protecting yourself.

When to Walk Away (with your head held high)

While there are very few projects I've walked away from, I've had to stop caring as much, had to keep my mouth shut, and just get through it, like so many of us. That's all there is to it sometimes. The way that two brains work together doesn't work. In an industry of collaboration, it happens. It's not personal, it's not a bad thing, it's just not working. There are plenty of movies I've stayed on to keep the diarrhea thunderstorm of bullshit off of the actors I've cast, and they've taught me these things:

• Remove Yourself - If you have support and feel safe to talk to the production team before you leave a production, I highly recommend having a few conversations to fix any prolems that you're having. There's usually a way to fix things. If that's not possible, you are never required to stay on a project. End of thought. It could be that it's unsafe, that you're not being respected, or you hate the director's attitude. You - can - leave. You're not trapped. While I recommend you do so after replacing yourself, or making sure the producers and reps know why you're leaving, you do not ever have to stay in a space you don't feel safe, valued, or respected. Filmmaking is a team, and becomes impossible if the team leaves - don't forget how much power you have!

• Report - If you feel the things on a project aren't safe, for any reason, and you feel safe to report them to a representative (agents, unions, officials), make sure you understand the process before starting the job. Call your union reps, chat with your agent, and look into the official rules on (insert weird thing you're filming here) to know what is and isn't allowed before you ever show up to set. Information will keep you safe in so many ways. Report the project with evidence to the appropriate channels within your safety net, and give yourself a pat on the back for looking out for the rest of us.

We don't have an HR department, us filmmakers. That means we have to look out for each other, which starts with looking out for ourselves. Get your house in order with your boundaries, so you're not figuring them out while being offered an opportunity that annihilates them. We're modern-day storytellers - no one said it would be easy, so keep yourself safe ❤️

- Sarah